Elane Gutterman
I Hardly Hesitated
On my way to work, fifteen years ago,
I killed a deer. It wandered
fearless onto the road,
its young bones pliant as chilled butter.
I hardly felt the impact but I saw
its spindly legs, the mottle of milky spots on tawny fur,
no time to brake. Afterwards I kept going,
I had to be at work, no time to be late.
I was busy steering teen daughters,
my life ricocheted from deadlines at work
to family dinners and deliberations.
I killed a deer. For fifteen years,
I've remembered that moment and afterwards
when I did not have time to stop.
It was the time, when I did not have time.
Bio
Elane Gutterman is a health researcher whose poems often address the collisions and heroics of contemporary life (large and small). Her poems have been published in The Ekphrastic Review, The Fib Review, The Kelsey Review, The New Verse News, and Paterson Literary Review. In 2019, she was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Her first book of poetry, Tides of Expectation, was recently published. She is a board member of West Windsor Arts, where she is chair of the literary arts committee.