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title
"... brevity is the soul of wit ..."
- William Shakespeare

Vincenzo Anastasia


 

A guide to the bells at Trader Joe's

One bell means the hungry are waiting to go home.
Two bells mean a cashier needs help.
Three bells confuse the customers.
Five bells mean you pretend to be someone new for an hour.
Six bells mean you need a break to cry behind the coconut milk in the cooler.
Seven bells mean you meet eyes with people through the cartons and they move on without a word.
Eight bells mean you want to be the creamer they carry home to their nice kitchen. Or perhaps the persimmons.
Nine bells mean, "Who let the country music play all day?"
Ten bells mean, "It was Rachel again."
Eleven bells mean you're paid overtime in Granny Smith apples.
Twelve bells mean Trader Joe's is no place for poets.
Thirteen bells mean there are now thirteen hours on the clock, and you are never, ever going home.